Saturday, September 17, 2005

i was reminded today that i dont really know as much as i think i do, and that i am prone to overestimating myself. i really thought i knew this friend of mine. now i begin to wonder what exactly do i know about him, and if it was merely my imagination that counted as as friends, when in fact, i really know nothing about him. of course, the shock that accompanied some discoveries i made about this friend was quite huge. i learnt several things about him that i had already convinced myself otherwise. it was as though i was hearing about a completely new person ive never met before, but in truth, it was the very same person that i thought it was reasonable to say we were pretty good buddies.

but i guess i was wrong about that as well. of course, when confronted with new information, i naturally wanted to find out if it was all true. i made the unfortunate assumption that this friend wouldnt lie to me. again i was wrong, because he preferred to hide the truth rather that face it, and preferred to keep me in the dark and worried, rather than let me have some peace of mind. im not angry with this person, im past that already. im just sorely disappointed. i usually respect the decision of my friends to keep something from me, but when i see no reason why it should be so, i begin to wonder if we really can trust each other. i guess i trusted this person too much, and hoped that this trust will be returned. im sad that i somehow could never live up to whatever expectations that this friend may have had for me.

and i really find that i do not know who he is anymore. does he?
god spoke 12:58 PM